By Kristin S. | DRIME Vancouver Member
“I think Jesus hates me.” These were the first words Frank said to me.
We sat down on a cold cement bench and Frank shared his story with me. The street lights dimly lit his face under the hood he kept on his head, and his hands held tight together, but this light couldn’t get to the darkness in his soul. Frank is constantly in pain. No matter what he does, sitting, standing, walking, laying, the pain doesn’t go away. He was born with a back deformity and had several surgeries to try to correct it, but there is nothing more they can do, and the pain is constant and debilitating. This pain started to take over his life. Frank has tried many ways of pain relief. He started stealing to fund his use of street drugs, ended up in jail, then homeless. He left his family, now lives on the street.I looked up to see man standing two feet away from me, with tears running down his face and with such a deeply anguished expression on his face. He repeated it, “I think Jesus hates me.”
Frank told me that he doesn’t want to steal. He doesn’t want to be homeless. He wants to be able to go back to his family. But he can’t. Tears kept running down his cheeks, dripping off his chin. He repeated to me a few times that he thinks Jesus hates him, and my response was that. “No, Jesus does not hate you. Jesus loves you, and his love is huge. His love is big enough to cover everything that has happened in your life. I promise. And there is hope, there is healing, and Jesus is the source of all healing!”
Throughout the time I sat with Frank, I was hit with the fact that I can’t “fix” him. I can’t see anyone or anything earthly that can fix him. He is in such a place of brokenness that only the gospel of healing and grace can transform him. I felt completely powerless, but reminded of my powerful God. I gave Frank a Bible. I told him that there is an eternal Hope written on its pages, and that I really want him to see this Hope.
And when Frank walked away from our conversation, I know he did not walk alone. God is still walking with Him, and God is sovereign over his life.
Have you ever felt trapped in darkness?
Use the contact form below to connect with an online mentor who will pray for you and help you through the hard times.